Akatsuki Discoveries
by dawnstar91
Summary: What happens when the everyone's favourite evil organization discovers things that don't in their world. Crack. Rated T for minor yaoi references, and coarse language by Hidan's mouth.
1. Chapter 1

Akatsuki Discoveries I: The Internet

_This is a story about random things that existed in our world but not in the Narutoverse getting into Tobi's hands. Who knows what that good boy would know with those stuff. Totally crack._

_P.S: This is my first fanfic, so pls don't flame me._

It was a fine morning. Birds are chirping and fluffy white floated in the sky. The sun was bleaming its beautiful rays… WAIT WHAT? WHY IN JASHIN ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE BEAUTIFUL SUN?

Okay, so everything was normal in the Akatsuki hideout. Hidan was busy praying to his wonderful god called Jashin, Kakuzu is busy counting his money, Kisame is busy promoting against sushi, Itachi is staring emoly at the mirror, chanting Sasuke lacking hatred at his own reflection, Sasori is busy working on his puppets, Deidara is busy showing off his beautiful art, hoping that one of them lands on the weasel, Zetsu is photosynthesising in the backyard, and Pein and Konan are making out in their room. All was peaceful and quiet when suddenly, our favourite Good Boy burst through the door, holding a laptop in one hand. About where he got it, only Kami knows.

"Hey guys! Tobi found something very interesting lying in the middle of the forest." Tobi exclaimed. "It gives you all the information that you want!" Tobi placed the laptop on the table, and typed in some random thing that only the mind of Tobi could think of into the Google search engine. "Hey, Deidara-sempai, look! Both of us look so cute together!" the hyper ninja said as he pulled the blonde bomber who was trying, failingly, to avoid him. Deidara was at the climax of dreaming about his art when he was interrupted by the most annoying person yet. "What is it, un? Can't you see that I'm making art now, un?" He asked with a scowl on his face, trying his best not to explode up the base just because Tobi did something stupid. The last time that happened, he was forced to spend all his savings to repair the base because a certain miser refused to pay for it, and Pein threatened to confiscate all his clay and sell them for organization funds if he doesn't pay for it. "But sempai, you've got to see this!" Tobi begged as he shoved the laptop right into his face. Upon seeing this picture, Deidara face turned into the brightest shade of red. Apparently the masked-nin had found a picture of Tobidei on Google and thought it was kinda cute. On why he thought so, only his dead grandmother knows of his twisted mindset.

"Oi, Kisame, Hidan! Have you been exposing Tobi to yaoi again? For the last time, he is too young for these stuff!" Deidara yelled.

"What is it now, motherfuckers? Can't you see that I am busy right now?" Hidan came out of his room, naked. YES, NAKED. Apparently the Jashinist was busying having sex with Kakuzu in their room and were abruptly interrupted by the blonde's yellings.

"Hidan, put some pants on." Kakuzu said as he walked out.

"What do you care? I walk NAKED." Hidan grunted as he stuck a tongue out to his lover.

"So, what is it, girly man? Have you forgotten the lesson I taught you last time you disturbed us?" Said Hidan as he walked up to the commotion. Then, his face turned from a scowl to more of an interested look. "ZOMG, I never were actually hot for Tobi!" Hidan laughed loudly, ignoring the deadly aura surrounding Deidara.

"No I'm not!" Deidara protested, but to no anvil as Hidan's comment actually attracted more members to surround him.

"Hey brat, what did I say about falling for Tobi? I thought we promised each other that we would not let anyone else in into our relationship." Said a very pissed Sasori, who was still unwillingly to believe that his lover has actually fallen for an orange idiot.

"OMG, this thing is awesome!" exclaimed Kisame, who has actually snatched the laptop from Tobi when no one's looking. "I went to tis site called google and searched my own name, and guess what, there's so many smoking hot pictures of myself!"

"Yeah right, I'm pretty sure I still hotter than you." Hidan said as he snatched the laptop from the shark-nin. He typed in "KakuHida", and many ultra hot, or should I say, inappropriate images came out. Everyone blushed. "Hm, perhaps we should try that out in bed the next time." Kakuzu said as he pointed to an inappropriate image that I would not bother describing.

The commotion went on, with the Akatsuki members debating which pairing is hotter than who, with the exception of Pein and Konan, who were still down at business in their room, and Itachi, who simply just don't care. Zetsu was glad that there weren't that many fanfictions about him and most of them only involved both of his sides making out or him and Tobi.

"Hey, what's going on here?" An annoyed Pein stepped out of his room, with Konan by his side, who screamed and fainted at the sight of a naked Hidan. Dude, she lived a bunch of guys and made out with Pein nearly every day, and yet faints at the sight of a naked Hidan. Only Kami knows why she did that. Apparently Pein was actually also interested in the new laptop, and after hearing about the smoking hot pictures, he also wanted to see himself included.

The entire commotion went on for hours, and Tobi, being such a good boy, did not understand a single thing on what's going on and even thought that the yaoi pictures were cute. Damn, screw that screwed up mind. However, no one noticed that Itachi was not involved in it. The weasel had shut himself up in his own room right after Deidara screamed so that he could continue dreaming about torturing his brother in his mind. Man, how emo.

When the entire craziness ended, it was already midnight and everyone was too tired to argue on. They decided to continue that the next day. Yet, the laptop is still on and working. Wow, doesn't the laptop has battery life? Or did someone use a secret lightning style jutsu to make it work unlimitedly? Only your great grandfather knows.

Itachi came out of his room, apparently having fallen asleep while busying thinking about ways to torture Sasuke. He noticed the laptop, and decided to stalk Sasuke because he does that all the time. That's creepy….

Upon hitting the search button, thousands of smoking hot pictures of Sasuke appeared, many of which were rather inappropriate for people like Tobi, though it's a good thing he masked-nin couldn't understand a single thing.

After staring at the pictures for half an hour, Itachi finally said, "Foolish little brother, I've never thought that that snake bastard made you into a sex toy. "

_That's all ppl, remember to R&R:D Suggestions are always welcome:)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Akatsuki Discoveries II: The deadly anime series**

It had been a week since the mysterious laptop arrived at the Akatsuki's doorstep. The Akatsuki had just finished watching the entire 220 episodes of Naruto and 306 episodes of Naruto Shippuden. Everyone was giving the 'WTF' look after the latest Naruto Shippuden episode ended. Sometimes, they wondered why they had watched the series in the first place.

_Flashback_

"_Hey guys! I just found a new anime series to watch!" Kisame exclaimed excitedly._

"_What is it, Fishface? If it's another episode of Sailor Moon then I swear to Kami that I will slice you into sushi and feed it to Zetsu." Kakuzu replied, annoyed that someone distracted him from his calculations. Apparently, the only one who was capable of interrupting Kakuzu session with his lovely money is Hidan, which came at a price of having his head chopped off whenever the stitch-nin miscalculated his money._

"_Well, for you information, the only person who watches Sailor Moon here is Hidan." Kisame replied politely, though he was scared deep down of being turned into sushi._

"_Hey, what's wrong with watching Sailor Moon, fuckers? You assholes really need to appreciate those bitches!" Hidan yelled across his room._

"_But this show's about the Kyuubi kid!" Kisame protested, apparently uninterested in the two immortals' argument over Sailor Moon._

"_The Kyuubi kid?" Pein walked out of his room with Konan following closely. "Hmm, we could get some information out of him through this anime."_

"_Kisame, show us the anime. If the Kyuubi kid is the main character, then my brother is definitely one of the sub-characters." Itachi said upon overhearing the conversation, looking slightly interested, for once._

_Soon, Pein gathered everyone to the meeting room, including a pissed off Hidan, who was swearing colourfully under his breath for being interrupted during his ritual, and so the terror of the anime began…_

_End of flashback_

Everyone was staring the desktop wallpaper blankly. The clock just ticked. There was nothing but silence.

After half an hour of staring, Hidan finally muttered, "Well, fuck."

Tobi, despite being a good boy, was receiving the most glares, mainly from Deidara and Pein. The blonde bomber could not believe that he had been working with an idiot who possesses the Sharingan, which is a disgrace to his art, and Pein was mad with him for taking over the Akatsuki without his permission, as well as killing his lover in an utterly painful way. Tobi, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the glares, and chirped happily," Tobi is a good boy," as chibi angel wings sprout out from his back.

"NO! Tobi's a dead boy,un!" Deidara screamed angrily at the masked-nin as he chased Tobi out of the base and readied his clay for another Tobi explosion.

Meanwhile, Sasori was emo-ing at a corner for being killed by his grandmother and that pink bitch who was literally to be deemed as the most useless character in the entire Narutoverse. He was sad that he get himself killed after making such an epic appearance, as well as his former minion, Kabuto, for using him as a puppet for his own chess game. Apparently, that's what I think Kabuto was doing.

Kisame and Itachi was staring at each other unbelievably. "Kisame, are you gay for me?" Itachi asked emotionlessly. "Hey bro, was it all true that you were actually helping Konaha?" Kisame returned the question. "If this was real, I don't get why I got killed by Guy." Kisame cried. Yes he cries people. "I was so awesome, and that bitch forced me to commit suicide."

Hidan was swearing colourfully for being having his head severed and buried by some guy named Shikamaru. "I mean, what is fuck is wrong with sacrificing his fucking sensei to Jashin? I swear that Jashin would fucking love him." Hidan yelled.

Kakuzu was also emo-ing that he did not die beside his money, and not having enough showtime after he was resurrected. "Hey, at least you weren't disintegrated during a ritual." Hidan said as he tried to cheer his lover up. "Someday, I swear to Jashin that I shall chop that Kabuto guy up into bits and pieces, feed him to dogs, and their make the most painful sacrifice for him to Jashin. I'm sure Jashin-sama would love his soul." Hidan claimed as he licked his lips hungrily for yet another sacrifice.

"Hey, at least you died peacefully, danna. I just got locked inside a freaking pot all this time during the war,un." Deidara said as he tried to cheer Sasori up. The bomber could not believe that he met up his end at the hands of an Uchiha ass named Sasuke and swore to kill him and Kabuto should he meet up with one of them. Man, Kabuto sure got lots of people wanting his flesh and blood today.

Zetsu, well, he was being debating with himself for what to eat during dinner, a completely irrelevant topic to the others. Konan was grieving over the fact that Pein actually died in the series. Wow, women sure can't get over deaths, huh.

Suddenly, the news on the TV came on. "Attention, this is the latest news report from Konoha News. We have received reports that the legendary sannin named Orochimaru was killed by his student Sasuke Uchiha after the sannin allegedly tried to rape him. Till then, Sasuke would be leaving his hideout with four of Orochimaru's subordinates as they start their journey to seek revenge on Uchiha Itachi." There was an awkward silence after that.

"Wow…" Deidara broke off his silence.

"At least that pervert is gone now. When I was his partner, he just couldn't keep his eyes and hands off young boys." Sasori said as he signed a relief.

"WAIT! If Orochimaru is dead now…" Deidara wondered out loud to himself, "That means I'M the next in line to die!" With that, Deidara screamed like a little girl as he paced back and forth the hideout.

"Calm down, brat. You are nowhere near Sasuke, just don't go after him and you'll be fine." Sasori grabbed his partner's arm, apparently annoyed for someone to scream so loudly.

"Hey, if Orochimaru died, isn't Sasori and Kakuzu supposed to be dead now and Hidan is currently being buried in Far Far away?" Kisame questioned.

"That means, we have ghosts in our house!" Tobi chipped in excitedly. Like I said, he got a screwed up mindset.

With that, everyone save Itachi and Zetsu started freaking out and avoiding the 'dead' Akatsuki members.

"Guys, calm down. No one's dead here. Remember, the author has put everyone in an alternate dimension where everyone shall be alive save Sasuke and Sakura, and shall be offered free plot-no-jutsu should one KIA." Kakuzu reassured the frantic members.

"Well, anyways, fellow members, go back to your room right now. We shall discuss this issue tomorrow." Pein ordered, but Zetsu came up to him and whispered to him, and Pein nodded. "Well, there are some changes though. Zetsu mentioned about another version of the Naruto anime where no one dies, so sleep well, we shall watch that one tomorrow." Pein said.

"Um, Leader-sama, Danna and I have a something special to do today, so can we go out for a while, un?" Deidara asked, with a devious grin forming on his face.

"Fine, be back by midnight or I'll send Zetsu after you." Pein agreed.

"Hey, Kakuzu, mind to help me out with my sexy-no-jutsu?" Hidan pleaded as he and his lover walked out of the meeting room.

_Flashback_

_The first episode of Naruto has ended and Hidan was rolling all over the floor, laughing at the sexy-no-jutsu Naruto came up with. Believe me or not, he had actually died laughing once. "Hey, maybe I should try out the trick on Itachi sometime." Hidan mocked as Itachi turned to ignore him._

"_Um, Hidan, did you know that Uchihas are immune to sexy-no-jutsus?" Kisame asked._

"… _Well, fuck."_

_End of flashback_

"Kisame, remember to pass me the brain soap later." Itachi told Kisame as they left too.

"Man, Itachi, you still can't get over that scene, could you?" Kisame asked, amused by the fact that his partner was still traumatized by that scene.

_Flashback_

_Itachi stared in horror as he watched his brother and Sasuke kiss each other in episode 3. Everyone was laughing out loud, including Sasori, who smirked at the fact that Uchihas could be gay too. 'Foolish little brother, I didn't realize that you were reading the Icha Icha Paradise after I got defected.' Itachi thought, as he lectured Sasuke in his mind. _

"_Hey, Itachi, un! I never knew your brother was so gay, un!" Deidara laughed._

"_Mangekyo Sharingan!" Itachi activated his sharingan as he sent the blonde to the world of genjutsu. After that, Deidara did not wake up until the chunnin exam arc started._

_End of flashback_

Meanwhile, at Orochimaru's hideout

"Finally, I can gain access to Lord Orochimaru's powers." Kabuto snickered evilly as he made his way to the lab. Suddenly, a gift box dropped in front of him out of nowhere. "What is this? Oh, it's a present from Sasori. He must have missed me after I left him for his ex-partner." Kabuto said as he opened the gift box.

"Oh, it's a little birdie! Sasori must have sensed that I would be lonely so he gave me a pet. Awwwww, thanks Master Sasori!" Kabuto was elates as he almost shed tears. Just then, the bird glowed.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!

The entire hideout exploded, leaving an unconscious Kabuto lying in the debris.

"Sweet revenge, un." Deidara chuckled as he watched his art blow out the massive hideout.

"Come on, brat, let's go. It's near midnight, we don't want a Zetsu stalking us," Sasori muttered impatiently as the artistic duo flew off on a clay bird, leaving the remains of the hideout behind.

_Well, that's all, folks. Find out what would happen s the Akatsuki discover the Rock Lee spinoff series! Till then!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Akatsuki Discoveries III: We are not clumsy fools, fuzzy eyebrows**

**Dawn: Hello people:D Welcome back to Akatsuki Discvoeries!**

**Orochimaru: Hey! Why did you kill me off?**

**Dawn: Because YOU. ARE A F**KING GAY RAPIST! NOW GET OUT BEFORE I SET MANGOOSES UNDER YOU'RE A$$!**

**Orochimaru: :'(**

**Tobi: Hey, Pretty girl-chan, what does ''f**k'' and 'a$$' mean? ^^**

**Dawn: *sweatdrops 'Till ya' older, Tobi.**

**Deidara: Dawn does not own Naruto. If she did, that emo duckbutt manwhore would be dead and Akatsuki would be alive and dominating the world, un.**

**Dawn: Thanks, Deidei. Here, have some clay and go blow up Orochimaru and Tobi****.**

**Deidara: Art is a BANG, UN!**

**Orochimaru: Why am I always the one bullied? T.T**

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo

So the Akatsuki were again gathered at the meeting room to watch other anime, as you know the Rock Lee spinoff that debuted last year. At least no one dies, that's a good thing.

Tobi was bouncing around like an average good boy, miraculously surviving all the bombs being hurled at him by an extremely pissed off bomber.

Itachi was sitting at the side eating his dangoes emoly, glaring at anyone who dares to touch his dangoes.

Kisame was busy feeding Samehada his pet treats, and for some reason he seems to think of Samehada as a dog.

Zetsu is busy arguing with himself about what to eat for lunch, which he does every 10 minutes.

Kakuzu was busy counting his money out loud, annoying a certain Jashinist who was cussing and swearing at him so that he can perform his ritual.

"Silence! How dare you misbehave in frount of your one and only god?" Pein was extremely pissed with the commotion his members are making. Sometimes, he actually wondered why he bothered to recruit such retarded morons. Konan was cheering when she heard Pein calling himself god. Dude, that's jusst creepy. Is she a fangirl of him or what? Only Jashin knows.

"Shut up, you motherfucker! The only god that exists is Lord Jashin!"

"Hidan, is Jashin and sex the only things you can think about?" Kakuzu asked, apparently pissed when his partner AKA lover interrupted his money-counting session, which occurs everyday.

Suddenly, for some unknown reason, Tobi accidentally tripped over Samehada causing Kisame to fall on Sasori, Sasori to fall on Deidara, Deidara to fall on Kakuzu, Kakuzu to fall on Hidan. and Hidan to fall on the laptop, which he pressed the 'paly' button accidentally.

That spinoff anime started playing and everyone started to snatch popcorns and dangoes from Itachi, who managed to send Hidan and Kisame off into his Mangekyo paradise, and is currently sobbing over the loss of his dangoes.

~Time skip 6 hours later~

After watching the first 30 episodes of the anime, everyone was laughing and mocking Deidara and Tobi being such a 'cute' couple after Tobi supposedly declared his undenying love for Deidara in the Itachi and Sasori were smirking.

"Hey pansy, I would like to see you ass-rape Tobi next time! And stop making boyfriends all over the world, Playboy!" Hidan mocked.

Deidara was fuming with anger. How dare they mock his art and make him trip over a freaking magazine cover from Konoha and destroy his masterpiece. And why would he want to get involved in a fucking driving test when he can use his art to fly around or help out pathetic Konoha-nins.

"How dare they mock me and my art, un." he thought. "Though my art does look good, un."

Orochimaru was being laughed at the most, but since he is dead it doesn't matter.

'Damn that snake bastard, I wonder what he taught my foolish little brother.' Itachi thought miserably, imagining the horrible consequences that the future generation of Uchihas would be facing.

When it comes towards the end of episode 38, everyone was silent. The S-rank criminals could not believe what they just saw. They were literally treated as an organization of clowns that always end up destroying their hideout.

Then, Hidan broke out into laughter.

"Now who's god, bitches? Piercing ass just tripped over a stone!"

"Shinra Tensei!" Pein blew Hidan to the side of the room, just like what he did to Hidan in the anime.

"Almighty Jashin." That was the only thing Hidan burped out before fainting.

"For the last time, why would I help out a fuzzy eyebrow who looks like Hiruko and has facial lines like Itachi, un."

"And I don't have memory problems." Kisame added.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi chirped. What a screwed up mindset.

"Tobi, for the last time you are in a criminal organization. You have to be a BAD BOY!" Pein chided.

"Okay, Tobi will be a good boy for being a bad boy in Akatsuki." Tobi exclaimed. Everyone facepalmed.

"Hey, Tobi wants more popcorn!" Tobi exclaimed.

"Um Tobi, Itachi ate all the popcorn." Kisame said.

There was an awkward silence after that. Suddenly, a dark aura formed around Tobi and he used his real identity.

"Where are the popcorn? No one touches my popcorn!" Tobi, or should I say Obito flashed his sharingan at Itachi, who was ignoring him and totally unfazed by his menace. Everyone sweatdropped.

Then, Kakuzu said," Pay up, Kisame. I told you he was Obito."

The shark-nin reluctantly handed 50 bucks to the greedy miser, who's eyes are shining at the sight of money.

"Jeez, fishman, I thought everyone knew that Tobi was Obito, un. Zetsu just stole a copy of the latest Naruto manga, un."

~Time skip 1h later~

Kisame was sulking.

"Hey, Itachi-san, why is Kisame-sempai so gloomy?" Tobi asked innocently.

"Because you just destroyed his dream of bringing Samehada to a dog cafe."

Tobi walked up to Kisame, and just as everyone that Tobi waa gonna be a good boy to console the crying shark, Tobi said,"Kisame-sempai, I can't believe you didn't know that those dogs were people."

Everyone sweatdropped.

Kisame was resisting the urge of feeding Tobi to Samehada, when Deidara tapped his shoulder.

"Hey buddy, anger management issues, un? Need me to help you kill Tobi, un? I'll be glad to do so, un."

"HOLY FUCKER OF JASHIN!" Hidan screamed. "Itachi, is that your fucking brother? I didn't know HE was fucking gay!"

Everyone started laughing. Itachi stared at the laptop, frozen as he watched Sasuke crossdress with Rock Lee.

'Foolish little brother, looks like I forgot to tell you that sharingans cannot be used when people use the crossdress no jutsu.'

Itachi was frozen on the spot. He did not blink, and he was staring wide-eyed for the first time. Just then, Kisame did the most unbelievable thing ever: he slapped his partner.

"Thanks, Kisame." Itachi returned back to his stoic self.

After the Akatsuki watched finish the entire series, they decided to retire for rest just in case Itachi start chanting about Sasuke lacking hatred to the air. Only Hidan, Kisame and Deidara remained in the meeting room.

"Hey guys, I figured out the best prank ever!" The three members whispered amongst themselves and chuckled.

~Meanwhile, in Konoha~

"Hey, Naruto, I got a mail for you." Sakura entered Naruto's house, handing him the envelope. "Hm, no one sends my letters, I hope its from the Ramen Kamis, dattebayo!" Naruto thought excitedly as he ripped open the envelope.

"Arghhhhhhhh! Why is teme crossdressing with fuzzy eyebrows?!" Naruto exclaimed, his eyes heating up. Sakura picked up the envelope, curious to know what is in it.

"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Was all that came from the room, as Sakura nosebled and fainted on the ground.

~With Team Hebi~

Sasuke stared at the mysterious letter in front of him. He opened carefully, only to reveal those pictures of him crossdressing with Lee. He stared at it for several minutes, before fainting due to overwhelming creepy images forming in his brain thanks to 3 years of (sex) education under Orochimaru. This led to Karin fainting side by side with him when her lover fainted, and Juugo to destroy the entire forest. Suigetsu was nowhere to be seen.

~With Itachi and Kisame~

"Kisame."

"Hn?"

"What did you, Hidan and Deidara do yesterday night?" Itachi asked stoically.

"Ohhhhhh. We printed out those pictures of your brother crossdressing and sent them to your brother and the kyuubi kid. I bet they would be dead by now." Kisame chuckled.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo

**Hidan: FUCK YEAH! JASHIN ROCKZ!**

**Pein: The only god that exists is me and only me.**

**Konan: *fangirl squeal I love you, Pein-sama^^**

***Pein and Konan makes out**

**Dawn: Hey hey! Get a room, will ya? Don't make out in the middle of a broadcast. Oh, and remember to R&R, ppl, or Hidan shall sacrifice you to Jashin!:D. Seeya!^^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Akatsuki Discoveries IV: A coffee a day keeps the Tobi Hyper.**

**Dawn: HELLO PPL! :D**

**Tobi: Tobi is a good boy!**

**Dawn: Why the hell is this broadcast room always been hacked? I thought it was supposed to be private!**

**Riku: Too bad I let them cos I get COOKIES!**

**Dawn: Riku, Get. Out. Of. Here. NOW. *insert evil sharingan glare**

**Riku: O.O**

**Itachi: Dawn does not own Naruto. Naruto belongs to Kishi and I have longed to kill him.**

**Dawn: Thanks, weasel-kun. (And you don't have to say the last part)**

**Itachi: Hn.**

***Sasuke enters**

**Itachi: SASUKE! *chases Sasuke out of the room**

**Dawn: -.-lll They never change...**

**Note: Hi – Black Zetsu**

Hi – White Zetsu

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000

It was a boring day. So boring that I almost wanted to describe how beautiful the sun is. Just then...

"Hey guys, I got this weird machine thingy in Konoha today!" Kisame beamed as he walked in.

"Kisame, why are you in the leaf village?"

"Itachi missed the dangoes in Konoha, so he forced me to accompany him to the dango shop."

"What. The. Hell. Itachi. You know you don't have to run all the way to your village just to eat dangoes. We still have some in the fridge." Sasori said.

"Hn."

"Kisame, how much did that thing cost?"

"It's free, dude!" the shark-nin exclaimed.

"Hey hey, motherfuckers. Can't you see I'm praying to my beloved Jashin just now?" A very pissed, (and naked) Hidan came out of his room.

"Put on some pants, loser." Kakuzu sighed.

"YAYA WHAT'S UP, PISS? I know you are fucking jealous of that fucking smexy dick I have!" Hidan yelled, and smirked when half the Akatsuki were seemingly disgusted by his statement.

"Hidan, everyone knows that Itachi is more popular than you." Kisame sweatdropped.

"Shut the fuck up, fish face. That Uchiha's ass isn't as smexy as mine!"

"Hidan, go discuss your horny subjects with that tree." Kakuzu said, apparently annoyed.

"No! Go and discuss with the clouds, trees are friends, fools." White Zetsu said.

"SILENCE!" Pein's voice boomed across the hideout. "And Kisame, may I know what does that machine do?"

"It's a coffee machine, sir."

"What's that?"

"I heard it before when I was still in my village, un. Apparently that old man (Onoki) drinks that everyday to keep himself awake, un."

"So, it gives your more energy for work, huh? I bet Hidan needs to drink it everyday to keep him awake when he is on a mission." Kakuzu pointed.

"Hey, shut it, asshole! I sleep because your missions are fucking boring!" Hidan yelled from his room.

" Yeah right, you sacrificed every single person we kill, is that not interesting?"

Just then, Tobi entered the room, wearing Hello Kitty pyjamas.

"Tobi, how old are you, un?" Deidara sighed.

"Can Tobi try coffee?" Tobi asked innocently.

"NO!" Everyone screamed.

"But Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cried.

" Tobi, I dare you to go to your room and stay there forever, un." Deidara said.

Oh, are we playing truth or dare? Tobi wants to play! Tobi shall be a good boy and stay in his room forever!" Tobi chirped excitedly, before skipping back to his room.

"Says the one who is actually the real Akatsuki leader." Kisame sweatdropped.

~Timeskip~

Its 2am in the morning. All the Akatsuki members have went to bed. Just then, Tobi crept out of his room.

"Tobi is hungry!" He thought.

"Hm, maybe some coffee will help to ease the hungry!" Tobi thought it was a brilliant idea.

So, our good boy poured some coffee and drank it. What happens next will be up to you to imagine.

~Timeskip 6 hours later~

Deidara, who was never a morning person, was still sleeping soundly in his bed, with his alarm clock being struck by a kunai against the wall. He, however, was oblivious to the shadowy figure behind him.

"Good morning, sempai!" Tobi screamed at the top of his lungs.

Deidara was jolted awake.

"Tobi, you ba-" Deidara grabbed his clay, ready to shower his art onto to Tobi.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi chanted out loud as he ran around his sempai's room in circles.

"Tobi, what the hell,un." Deidara sweatdropped. "Get out of my room NOW, UN!"

"Tobi is a good boy and shall now go wake up Itachi!" The good bot said happily as he bounced to his Itachi's room, but no without grabbing Deidara's clay pouch.

"Tobi! Get back here!" A very pissed bomber yelled from his room.

~With Itachi~

Itachi was sleeping in his room, dreaming about Sasuke. Anyone who was a member of Akatsuki knows never to wake Itachi up from his sleep. Not even Pein dared to enter his room when he's asleep. The Uchiha chooses when to wake up everyday. Sometimes, he would wake up at three in the morning, whereas on another occasion, he would sleep till noon.

"ITACHI-SAN! WAKEY-WAKEY!" Tobi screamed as he crashed through the door.

Sharingan eyes flashes at Tobi, who was bouncing around screaming him being a good boy.

"Oh, hi Itachi-san! How are you! I'm sure you are well and afresh today! Tobi chirped oblivious of the deadly aura surrounding the Uchiha.

"Tobi, you have 5 seconds to get out before I send you to my mangekyo world."

"Tobi shall go wake Kisame up now!" Tobi said as he hopped to the next room.

"Hn." Itachi grunted, noticing that something was obviously upside down today.

~With Kisame~

Kisame was sleeping, hugging Samehada as he sleeps.

"Kisame-san!" Tobi burst open the door and went straight to Samehada and started waving it wildly at the shark-nin.

"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Kisame screamed like a girl as he witnessed his sword being abused by the good boy.

"Tobi is a good boy." Tobi chanted as he swung the sword, almost hitting Kisame.

"Tobi, put Samehada down before I butcher you!" Kisame shouted angrily. But the good boy already left with Samehada before he finished his sentence.

~~With Hidan

The Jashinist was lying on his bed, with his shirt open, and snoring loudly. The main reason why the Akatsuki members didn't live together is because Kakuzu hated Hidan's snores as it's just too annoying, and hence Pein made everyone have there own rooms.

"HIDAN-SAN!" Tobi yelled. "TIME TO EAT YOUR CEREAL!"

"TOBI, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Hidan jolted awake and started cussing and swearing at the good boy. Wow, way to start a day.

"I swear to Lord Jashin that I shall chop your fucking ass down, and then burn your fucking dick, and slice your fucking body into bits and pieces, and feed it to the fucking bitches who drools on my scythe everyday, and THEN sacrifice your fucking soul to Jashin!" Hidan cussed.

"WOW, TOBI JUST LEARNT 10 NEW WORDS TODAY! WHAT DOES *censored for your safety* MEAN?" the curious good boy asked as he grabbed Hidan's scythe and swinging it around.

"TOBI, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Hidan screamed, but Tobi already ran off to his next victim.

~With Kakuzu~

Kakuzu, unlike most of the Akatsuki members, was actually a morning person. He would wake up at 6am in the morning so that he could count his money peacefully, as by 7am, Kisame and Tobi would be awake and Tobi would be causing a ruckus in the kitchen. Sometimes, Itachi would be awake but he didn't mind him since Itachi never came into his room.

"KAKUZU-SAN!"Tobi flew into his room, but not without stepping and slipping on his money. Just then, Kakuzu noticed one of the notes being torn apart. He had a heart attack and fainted.

"KAKUZU-SAN'S DEAD!" Tobi screamed. "TOBI SHALL BE A GOOD BOY AND REVIVE HIM!" He said as he did CPR on Kakuzu.

When Kakuzu finally recovered, he was so mad that Tobi was touching his _chest_, that he went rage mode and attempted to kill Tobi, but the good boy was nowhere to be seen.

~With Zetsu~

Zetsu was whistling a tune as he watered the flowers. Just then, Tobi leapt out from the bushes and hugged him so tightly that he almost went out of breath.

"Tobi! You are **choking us!**" Zetsu said.

"OHHHH, TOBI IS SO SORRY!" Tobi got down, but unfortunately stepped on one of the flowers, which happened to be Zetsu's favourite.

"TOBI! What have you **done to Mary!**" Zetsu screamed and cried when he saw his favourite flower being stepped on.

"That's it! You are** gonna be lunch today!**" Zetsu roared, but Tobi disappeared again.

~With Sasori~

"SASORI-SAN!" Tobi screamed as he broke the puppeteers' door.

Sasori, being overwhelmed by Tobi's screams, accidentally broke his own arm while trying to fix the puppet. Tobi, being a good boy, grabbed the arm and ran away with it, while holding Deidara's clay pouch, Itachi's picture of Sasuke, Kisame's Samehada, Hidan's scythe, Kakuzu's broken heart, and Zetsu's dead flower.

"Tobi! Get back here!" A pissed off puppet yelled as he chased after Tobi. Apparently no one was allowed to go into Sasori's room other than Deidara (who always manages to sneak in and stuff bombs in his puppets), or he will turn you into a human puppet.

~With Pein and Konan~

Pein and Konan was doing their usual, making out on their king sized bed. They were sprawled naked on the bed, making out, when our favourite good boy clashed in. Both of them turned into a thousand shades of red when Tobi came in.

"HELLO SIR LEADER AND KONAN-SAN! WHY ARE YOU NAKED? CAN I TRY OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING?" Tobi asked innocently.

The couple got dressed immediately. "Shinra Tensei!" Pein shouted as a vein popped out on his head as he pushed Tobi to the nearest wall. Just then, an entire horde of angry Akatsuki members came running into Pein's room, clearing pissed for getting their morning call. If I saw that, I swear I would just run out immediately and jump off the cliff. No one would want to see an entirely pissed off Akatsuki chasing after you.

"That bastard stole my clay, un!"

"GIVE ME BACK MY SAMEHADA!"

"Mary!"

"GIMME MY FUCKING SCYTHE BACK, YOUR BITCH!"

"You are gonna pay a billion bucks for tearing my note, and killing me."

"Hn,"

"Tobi, I want my arm back, NOW!"

"SILENCE!" Pein was extremely pissed off. Not only did someone interrupt his heaven session with Konan, but he also started a day with a commotion. (Pein hates commotions, ppl.)

The entire Akatsuki froze. No one ever wanted to make Pein angry, except Tobi, of course. "Tobi, what did you eat last night."

"OHHHHHHH! TOBI DRANK COFFEE LAST NIGHT! IT TASTED GOOD, AND EVEN BETTER WITH SUGAR AN MILK!" Tobi exclaimed.

... Awkward silence...

"Remind me to keep the coffee machine away from Tobi." Pein said.

Just then, Tobi kept a hyper rush within him, and ran off into his room. He came out in a tutu outfit, with a swan sticking out from his... ugh... I'm not descibing it to you guys. (Similar to the one in the Rock Lee spinoff) Then he started to _dance_ ballet.

"Holy fuck." Hidan said.

Everyone stood there wide-eyed.

Just then, Madara (yes, the real one) came out of nowhere and started taking pictures.

"Bravo! Superbe! Magnifique!"Madara said in a French accent.

"Madara, what are you doing?" Pein asked.

"Haven't you heard of 'Uchiha's Paradise'? It's a hit magazine that every missing-nin in the shinobi world reads!"

"I've never heard about it."

"Great! This will make a hit in the magazine!" Madara exclaimed happily as he took my pictures of Tobi in different cosplaying costumes.

'"Hn." Itachi grunted.

"Oh, hey, lil' bro, ya wan' me to leave? Fine then." Madara said disappointedly as he poofed away.

"Jeez, I thought he was dead."

"Hn."

"Sometimes I just don't get Uchihas, un."

Everyone sighed, as they watch Tobi run around in circles in a wedding gown. It would be a hectic week, or month, ahead for them.

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**Dawn: That's it people, seeya!**

**Tobi: TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! *crashes through window**

**Dawn: *sweatdrops Why did this happen here too...**

**Riku: Oops, I fed him a dose of sugar...**

**Dawn: ... *deadly aura forms**

**Riku: Well, I guess I gotta go, hehe...**

**Dawn: GET BACK HERE, YOU- *screen cuts off**

_**Please R&R ^^ Suggestions and criticism and always welcome:)**_

_**Seeya ^^**_


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